Many years ago, I was a sports connoisseur. I followed just about every professional sport until my school, work, and family responsibilities grew. I still try to catch playoffs and final games, but I can’t watch every night like I used to.
While Him and I watched the Super Bowl last weekend, I felt my blood pressure rise when it was becoming clear that that punk Tom Brady was going to get another ring. That was the moment I realized why I prefer wrestling these days. Real sports are just too damn stressful.
I was deeply entrenched in the NHL and MLB during the 90s when I was in high school. I watched every game I could and followed stats. I had to get the paper everyday so I could check standings in the sports section. Brain space was taken up with thoughts of whether or not my team would win that night’s game. Would they make it to the playoffs? Would they win it all? Was my favorite guy going to get traded? So many questions. So many things up in the air. So much stress.
Wrestling isn’t a completely stress-free endeavor. It’s annoying when the story-telling is poor. It sucks when your favorite wrestler is injured. It’s frustrating when that one certain super star is getting a push that you know Cesaro or Dolph Ziggler deserves. Overall though, wrestling follows a formula with some surprises tossed in. Good guys scratch to the top and eventually prevail. The bad guys are on top but eventually fall from glory. Tom Brady is a beloved football player to the legion of Patriots’ fans but in wrestling land, he would be a heel.
Tom Brady wins all the time. He has loads of money and goes home to his hot supermodel wife. But he is also cheater that associates with Bill Belichick, the closest thing the NFL has to Paul Heyman. If Tom Brady was a wrestler he would not give me stress because I would know that eventually he would get what’s coming to him for deflating those balls. In the land of “real” sports, all Brady gets is more rings on his fingers. I’m picking on Tom Brady here, so feel free to replace him with whomever irritates you. Now picture that person as a wrestler. I bet they’re getting body-slammed, am I right?
Wrestling provides me with athleticism and competition — even if it is pre-determined. Best of all, I know that if I plop down my hard earned cash for a live event, it won’t end with a KO in 2 seconds. Some might not appreciate the comfort of predictability but my anxiety thanks you, WWE.